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Men often define these women along evolutionary psychology lines—women who are sexually-selective, faithful, physically attractive, and have a pleasant, respectful disposition (for more on these qualities, see Buss, 2003 and my own articles here and here).
Unfortunately, these qualities are again part of women's double bind, with social norms sometimes guiding them away from these biologically feminine characteristics.
When punishments weight more heavily, people avoid those same behaviors.
Overall, they report that there is often little incentive for men to date and even less for them to consider long-term commitments.
In a previous article, I put forward the notion that individuals were not "afraid" to date—rather they simply did not have sufficient incentive to do so (see here).
However, these men are often punished by being socially labeled as "jerks", "players", or even "creeps", unfit for socially-defined relationships.
Furthermore, their tactics are often designated as "sexist" (Hall & Canterberry, 2011).
If men choose to follow social norms and become compliant as "good guys", they may get a "relationship partner". biological double-bind, these compliant men may also not be "attractive" to those same relationship partners (Buss & Shackelford, 2008).
As a result, they may be punished by their girlfriend's/wife's lack of sexual interest, being cheated on, or disrespected as a "push over".Men successful with this strategy attempt to find an honest and faithful partner, who respects their needs, and is grateful for their contributions (for more, see here, here, and here).Again though, men pursuing this strategy also report the need to stay vigilant for their partner's waning attraction, signs of cheating, and being taken for granted (much as women in "traditional" relationships do).Therefore, these men may get sex, but they often do not get love and respect.Overall, men in either case report also having a difficult time finding what they label "attractive" women for longer-term relationships.Changing social norms has allowed few avenues by which they can be both acceptable as a relationship partner and attractive as a sex partner.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating