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“We’re strong, we look great, and we’re in control of our sexual lives. The mantra of a cougar is: ‘Don’t call me; I’ll call you.’ ” And in Gibson’s case, the call won’t be to an older man.

“Older men like servants; I’m not a servant.”I talk with Gibson I embark on a hunt for Orange County’s notable cougar dens.

An overworked waiter slaps menus on the table and scurries away.

Four of us are bar-hopping on a girls’ night out; we’re famished and a little cranky after an hour-long wait for a table at Javier’s Cantina & Grill in Newport Coast. My flamboyant friend Gina opens her menu and lets out a frustrated squeak as she tries to focus on the tiny type.

Across the table, a vivacious Sherry asks, “Can you read it?

I forgot to bring glasses.” Gina throws her head back in a laugh.

The next evening, a Friday, I wade into a noisy crowd at Gulfstream in Newport Beach.

Crab cakes and blackened sea bass are flying out of the kitchen. A young crowd is ensconced at wooden tables out on the sand patio.

I move back inside, where the patrons seem to be of more diverse ages.

I search for a place to sit, then notice three 40-plus women at a cocktail table near a window. Although they find younger men attractive and have plenty to say about women their age, they don’t like the term either. “Women in their 40s are awesome,” says Nancy, a well-dressed brunette in a business suit.

Although she says she coined the term, some say it was first used in a Canadian hockey team locker room to describe female groupies.

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